which way?

well, unemployed kristi has returned. of course she can't help but feel somewhat annoyed at past kristi for her cockiness and her possibly foolhardy decision to walk away from paid employment. it occurred to me yesterday, whilst sitting in a cafe, watching the hoards frivolously spend their money, a luxury that past kristi ripped from my hands with her ridiculous need to not feel stressed at work...where was i? oh, yes, it occurred to me that this could possibly be one of those crossroad thingies that self help gurus go on about. but as i'm not psychic i have no way of knowing if i'm taking the happy road, full of sparkles, adventure, ridiculously uplifting moments, and good fortune, or the sad road, surrounded by daytime tv, cheap stodgy food, and the eventual deadening of my soul. (how's that for melodrama?!) so i sat there, wondering, that if i had a time machine if this would be the point that i would come back to, well not right now obviously, because it's already too late, but you get the drift.

see, the problem is, i have no idea what i'm good at. there are some things i do well, such as baking, and...does saying ridiculously pompous and self-righteous things when i'm drunk count as a skill? probably not. what else? i've been told i have an excellent phone manner. someone once told me that i was funny. i'm still not sure though if they meant it the way i took it. and i'm really good at watching tv. i haven't, as yet, been able to figure out a way to channel that into a career though.

but, despite the slight twang of fear present in my ramblings, i am, well, at least attempting to remain positive. and the calender has a few pleasantries in store for me over the next few weeks, so perhaps i'll just sit back, put on my tv watching hat and enjoy the lack of responsibility!