week 2 of the job hunt and the boredom has already set in. this is not helped by the fact that we just got back from amsterdam and i am now suffering from post holiday blues. why is it wrong to want to be on holidays forever? would it get boring?

boredom, of course, is easily cured, right? you just do something, anything, and you're engaged in an activity so you should no longer be bored. at least that's what my parents led me to believe. I have learned over the last few days, however, that tidying and housework will never cure boredom. in fact, i think it's pretty safe to say, i am bored of housework. this is no great revelation, i know, because no-one really likes housework, do they?

but back to the boredom thing, what i find about me, is that i can lack real motivation. for example, for the last two days we have had absolutely stunning weather, the sort that makes you sing out loud and twirl around, and sniff flowers in that deeply satisfied way. and have i gone outside to enjoy this weather? no, i sat on the couch and moped instead. because i suspect, not only about myself but others as well, that when you're bored you prefer to stay bored so that you've got something to whine about. perhaps that's a little bit harsh. but i am trying to have a stern word with myself about the whole issue. i mean, for goodness sake, i am an adult now. surely only children and those lacking in imagination would let themselves get bored!

last night i resolved to fight the problem head on. I have resorted to lists and the rather childish reward system. if i do everything on my list for that day i can have a reward. even as i type this, the child in me is clapping its hands and asking what kind of reward it will get! i've decided to keep it a mystery!

on the job front, sadly there is no update. i did have a job interview for a place that's about 33 miles from here which i'm relieved to say i didn't get, as the thought of commuting that far everyday was making me weep inside. fingers crossed that something will come along soon, as that would be the best, and most lucrative, cure for my boredom.

which way?

well, unemployed kristi has returned. of course she can't help but feel somewhat annoyed at past kristi for her cockiness and her possibly foolhardy decision to walk away from paid employment. it occurred to me yesterday, whilst sitting in a cafe, watching the hoards frivolously spend their money, a luxury that past kristi ripped from my hands with her ridiculous need to not feel stressed at work...where was i? oh, yes, it occurred to me that this could possibly be one of those crossroad thingies that self help gurus go on about. but as i'm not psychic i have no way of knowing if i'm taking the happy road, full of sparkles, adventure, ridiculously uplifting moments, and good fortune, or the sad road, surrounded by daytime tv, cheap stodgy food, and the eventual deadening of my soul. (how's that for melodrama?!) so i sat there, wondering, that if i had a time machine if this would be the point that i would come back to, well not right now obviously, because it's already too late, but you get the drift.

see, the problem is, i have no idea what i'm good at. there are some things i do well, such as baking, and...does saying ridiculously pompous and self-righteous things when i'm drunk count as a skill? probably not. what else? i've been told i have an excellent phone manner. someone once told me that i was funny. i'm still not sure though if they meant it the way i took it. and i'm really good at watching tv. i haven't, as yet, been able to figure out a way to channel that into a career though.

but, despite the slight twang of fear present in my ramblings, i am, well, at least attempting to remain positive. and the calender has a few pleasantries in store for me over the next few weeks, so perhaps i'll just sit back, put on my tv watching hat and enjoy the lack of responsibility!